WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A TEENAGE MUM?
Receiving the right sort of support has given two teenage mums the confidence they needed to turn their lives around
GEMMA RAY: "WALKING AROUND TOWN WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO DO WHEN I WAS PREGNANT."
I gave birth to my son, Ellis, now 13 months, before my 16th birthday. When I found out I was pregnant, I was really scared and confused, didn't know who to talk to or where to turn. My mum and dad were shocked. My mum just got over it really quick and supported me, whereas my dad didn't talk to me for ages, which was really hard on me as I am a big daddy's girl. It really upset me, but now he is really supportive and loves his grandson. When the people at school found out I was pregnant, one person smacked me in the stomach and said, "Bet you ain't pregnant now." I walked away, I didn't see the point in stooping to her level. I was transferred to a school for teenage mums. Walking around town was the hardest thing I ever had to do when I was pregnant. Strangers on the bus looked down on me and called me a "Slag" or a "Whore", and I could feel people's eyes burning into me as they stared at what they thought was yet another single teenage mum. In secondary school, there wasn't much support available, but at the specialist school I had a lot of support, not just from the teachers, but also from the students as we were all in the same situation, so there was no one there to judge you. I felt really alone, but since coming to the YWCA I am very confident and don't care what people think. I know I'm a good mum and I'm proud of my son. I want to attend college in September to do my A-levels and then do a counselling course, and see where life takes me from there. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Ignore petty people that think you can't do it. Believe in yourself.
JENNIFER WARNER: "THER HARDEST PART OF MY PREGNANCY WAS GETTING SOMEWHERE TO LIVE."
I fell pregnant when I was 19 and studying. It made me more determined to finish with good grades because I knew I wouldn't get another chance. Some tutors told me that I probably wouldn't be able to finish the course, which made me feel as if I should choose either pregnancy or my career. I was angry and felt like giving up. I managed to finish almost two years of coursework in two weeks and gained two passes and a merit in a BTec national diploma in music. When I told my mum I was pregnant she said she would stick by me which shocked me because I didn't think she would be so understanding. Mum wasn't ready to be a nan again because she had to deal with a similar situation with my older brother. The hardest part of my pregnancy was getting somewhere to live. There was no room at mum's so I had to go to the council for emergency accommodation. That brought more stress.
After I had my baby, the council moved me to temporary housing, but I was isolated from family and friends and scared to bring up another person without that extra support.
Shortly after I moved in, I suffered a blood clot on my lung that knocked my confidence. I became very depressed and pushed everyone I love even further away. My partner and I broke up. I suffered panic attacks and felt that no one cared, every day I spent alone with my child seemed longer because there was no pattern to my life. The only thing I was doing well was the finance, I was always good with budgeting.
The health visitor referred me to the YWCA – that gave me some confidence and showed me that all mums struggle, no matter what walk of life. I'm still a single parent but with support I feel more confident. My child is 14 months old and we have a permanent home. In September, I go back to college to study business administration. I'm proud of myself for not giving up, sometimes a helping hand is all anyone needs.
• Gemma and Jennifer, who both live in Northampton, are supported by the charity YWCA.
GEMMA RAY: "WALKING AROUND TOWN WAS THE HARDEST THING I EVER HAD TO DO WHEN I WAS PREGNANT."
I gave birth to my son, Ellis, now 13 months, before my 16th birthday. When I found out I was pregnant, I was really scared and confused, didn't know who to talk to or where to turn. My mum and dad were shocked. My mum just got over it really quick and supported me, whereas my dad didn't talk to me for ages, which was really hard on me as I am a big daddy's girl. It really upset me, but now he is really supportive and loves his grandson. When the people at school found out I was pregnant, one person smacked me in the stomach and said, "Bet you ain't pregnant now." I walked away, I didn't see the point in stooping to her level. I was transferred to a school for teenage mums. Walking around town was the hardest thing I ever had to do when I was pregnant. Strangers on the bus looked down on me and called me a "Slag" or a "Whore", and I could feel people's eyes burning into me as they stared at what they thought was yet another single teenage mum. In secondary school, there wasn't much support available, but at the specialist school I had a lot of support, not just from the teachers, but also from the students as we were all in the same situation, so there was no one there to judge you. I felt really alone, but since coming to the YWCA I am very confident and don't care what people think. I know I'm a good mum and I'm proud of my son. I want to attend college in September to do my A-levels and then do a counselling course, and see where life takes me from there. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Ignore petty people that think you can't do it. Believe in yourself.
JENNIFER WARNER: "THER HARDEST PART OF MY PREGNANCY WAS GETTING SOMEWHERE TO LIVE."
I fell pregnant when I was 19 and studying. It made me more determined to finish with good grades because I knew I wouldn't get another chance. Some tutors told me that I probably wouldn't be able to finish the course, which made me feel as if I should choose either pregnancy or my career. I was angry and felt like giving up. I managed to finish almost two years of coursework in two weeks and gained two passes and a merit in a BTec national diploma in music. When I told my mum I was pregnant she said she would stick by me which shocked me because I didn't think she would be so understanding. Mum wasn't ready to be a nan again because she had to deal with a similar situation with my older brother. The hardest part of my pregnancy was getting somewhere to live. There was no room at mum's so I had to go to the council for emergency accommodation. That brought more stress.
After I had my baby, the council moved me to temporary housing, but I was isolated from family and friends and scared to bring up another person without that extra support.
Shortly after I moved in, I suffered a blood clot on my lung that knocked my confidence. I became very depressed and pushed everyone I love even further away. My partner and I broke up. I suffered panic attacks and felt that no one cared, every day I spent alone with my child seemed longer because there was no pattern to my life. The only thing I was doing well was the finance, I was always good with budgeting.
The health visitor referred me to the YWCA – that gave me some confidence and showed me that all mums struggle, no matter what walk of life. I'm still a single parent but with support I feel more confident. My child is 14 months old and we have a permanent home. In September, I go back to college to study business administration. I'm proud of myself for not giving up, sometimes a helping hand is all anyone needs.
• Gemma and Jennifer, who both live in Northampton, are supported by the charity YWCA.